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Creator Bios
Actor Bios
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The Simpsons FamilyGuest StarsThe SchoolTownspeople
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Principal Seymour  Skinner

Principal Seymour Skinner

Also known as "Spanky" and "Skinny Boy," Principal Skinner rules the hallowed halls of Springfield Elementary with an iron fist, if only in his mind. In reality, he is the frequent butt of jokes in the teachers' lounge, a constant target for Bart Simpson's schoolyard pranks.

When not conducting fire drills, augmenting the school lunches with shredded newspaper, polishing the statue of the school mascot, or calculating detention time for Bart, Skinner can be found at his desk, reliving, through vivid flashbacks, the more horrific moments of his experience as a Green Beret in 'Nam.

Though he still lives at home with overly-protective mother, and purportedly wears a toupee, Seymour has managed to eke out a meager romantic life. On one occasion he became enmeshed in a scandalous affair with Edna Krabappel, while on another he proposed to Patty Bouvier. When Patty, turned him down, the broken-hearted Skinner remained steadfastly optimistic, declaring, "Tomorrow is another school day!"

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This is not a library! Hee, hee. I'm hardly ever sick at sea! Come back, big diaper! I'm gonna sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog...alright, Sears Catalog Gee, I dunno Way to go, Homer. Bee stings cause me to, uh, die. Release the hounds. Uh, wallet inspector. Who shot who in the what now? Argh! Silence!  You're talking too loud! What about the children! Hi-dilly-ho! This is not a library! We're gonna need pretzels. I'm hardly ever sick at sea! D'oh! My special little guy. What about the children! Ow, my freakin' ears! Happy God! Happy God! Hi-dilly-ho! Oh, I think I'm having a flashback. Yes, mother. We're gonna need pretzels. D'oh! My special little guy. I'm going to my room. suck, suck... Ay Carumba! roof, roof... cough... MacGyver! I do. My story begins in nineteen-dickety-two. We had to say 'dickety' cause the Kaiser had stolen our word  'twenty', I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles. Oh, I think I'm having a flashback. Yes, mother. She's faking it. I 'ate yer dog. Man, my pants are chafing. Huh, huh. Haw, haw! Hey Simpson, tell your mother her cookies suck! Hey, hey! Excelsior! Everything's coming up Milhouse! Fatty, fat-fat-fat! I bent my wookie.