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Creator Bios
Actor Bios
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The Simpsons FamilyGuest StarsThe SchoolTownspeople
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Itchy and Scratchy

Itchy & Scratchy

It's difficult to put your finger on the exact formula for Itchy & Scratchy's success. Perhaps it's the unbreakable bond that keeps these two together week after week on their award-winning, highly-rated animated series. Perhaps it's the ingenuity of their interactions, the brilliance of their improvisational dealings. Or maybe it's the carnage: the violent, bloody, nasty ways they've figured out to hurt one another. Whatever it is, it's kept an entire generation of Springfield's children in stitches while causing a few to induce stitches from emulating their violent routines. Bane of concerned parents everywhere, the Itchy & Scratchy Show is required viewing for all children who love mice that hate cats.

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This is not a library! Hee, hee. I'm hardly ever sick at sea! Come back, big diaper! I'm gonna sit at home and ogle the ladies in the Victoria's Secret catalog...alright, Sears Catalog Gee, I dunno Way to go, Homer. Bee stings cause me to, uh, die. Release the hounds. Uh, wallet inspector. Who shot who in the what now? Argh! Silence!  You're talking too loud! What about the children! Hi-dilly-ho! This is not a library! We're gonna need pretzels. I'm hardly ever sick at sea! D'oh! My special little guy. What about the children! Ow, my freakin' ears! Happy God! Happy God! Hi-dilly-ho! Oh, I think I'm having a flashback. Yes, mother. We're gonna need pretzels. D'oh! My special little guy. I'm going to my room. suck, suck... Ay Carumba! roof, roof... cough... MacGyver! I do. My story begins in nineteen-dickety-two. We had to say 'dickety' cause the Kaiser had stolen our word  'twenty', I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles. Oh, I think I'm having a flashback. Yes, mother. She's faking it. I 'ate yer dog. Man, my pants are chafing. Huh, huh. Haw, haw! Hey Simpson, tell your mother her cookies suck! Hey, hey! Excelsior! Everything's coming up Milhouse! Fatty, fat-fat-fat! I bent my wookie.